All Around Me
by Manic-Mellie
Summary: After seeing his brother in the arms of someone else, Kaoru runs off in tears and things take a turn for the worse. Song fic to All Around Me by Flyleaf


Ok, so here's a quick one-shot song fic to the song All Around Me by Flyleaf. I strongly suggest you go listen to the song before reading this, it will make more sense. Oh, just a quick note, this was literally written in only 2 hours, so it may not be that good. I'll probobly look at it again later and change some things but I want to put it up now, so here you go. Hey what can I say, when I'm inspired I need to write.

Disclaimer: I, Manic-Mellie do in no way own Ouran High School Host Club.

_italics- _Dreams

normal- reality

**bold**- song lyrics

**All Around Me**

_The darkness is all compassing as I run, everything in front of me blurred by my own tears. No matter how fast I run I'm not getting anywhere. I'm not getting any closer to you. I need too find you._

_Because right now I'm alone. And twins are never supposed to be alone._

_Ahead I can just make out your form, identical to my own. All lanky limbs and ginger hair, watery because of my tears. My arms stretch out, reaching desperately for you, needing you to be by my side._

_Needing you to be where you belong. With me._

**My hands are searching for you,**

**My arms are outstretched for you...**

The sirens are loud, deafening as I gaze down at your prone form strapped to the gurney. You look so pale, so broken...

And its all my fault.

I sent you running, I screamed at you to get out of my life, to leave me alone, to let me live my own life. And you listened.

Why did you listen! You must have know I didn't mean it! I can't live without you. Your my brother, my twin, my other half...

The EMT's are stabbing your arms with needles. Don't they know you hate needles?

Reaching down, I gently stroke your cheek with just my fingertips, barely a graze, barely a touch, but still I feel how frozen your skin is.

I try to say your name, but its trapped behind my lips, lost in my thick tongue, hidden by my sobs.

**I feel you on my fingertips,**

**My tongue dance behind my lips for you...**

_I can't get any closer. My feet feel glued, and no matter how hard I try I can't get free. I can't get to you. And your moving away, getting smaller and smaller._

_And she's there. Beside you, where I'm supposed to be. She's walking with you, laughing with you, and smiling with you. _

_She's replacing me. You'd deny it, but I know its the truth. You love her more then me. You love her more then you ever loved me. I'm just your brother, and she's your..._

_Lover._

_You never told me that, but I knew what you'd done with her. And even if you haven't done it yet, you want too, which is almost worse._

_I feel my legs give out as the fire rages through me. The hot fires of anger, betrayal and jealousy._

**This fire rising through my being...**

They push me away from you, saying I can't come with them, there's no room. I yell at them, fighting to be with you, telling them I'm your brother, begging them to let me come. Pleading through my tears.

Eventually they cave and I leap into the ambulance, grabbing your cold still hand, begging for you to stay with me, apologizing for everything, telling you I didn't mean it, begging you to wake up...

But you don't move. Your eyes stay closed and your breaths are getting shallower.

Your dieing.

My chest burns for air as I gasp, panicking. I can't live without you! You need to wake up! I can't stand seeing you like this...

**Burning I'm not used to seeing you...**

_I let my eyes slip closed as you lean down to kiss her. I can't watch anymore. The sight is killing me._

**I'm alive...**

Everything is starting to blur as I feel my breaths coming way to fast, my chest constricting, my heart racing.

This can't be happening! It can't!

One of the EMT's asks if I'm okay, but I can't answer. I don't have the air for it. I don't take my eyes off of you for even a second as I slip into unconsciousness.

**I'm alive...**

_I don't know where I am, but its not dark anymore. More like a soft grey, and its warm. So warm..._

_I must be in heaven._

_But if this is heaven, then why do I feel you surrounding me, thinking the air into a soft blanket, cocooning me in safety? Why do I hear your voice echoing around me, calling to me, begging me to wake up? Is that it? Am I asleep?_

_Suddenly your voice and words stop, but the feelings don't. I feel safe, completely wrapped in you, your very essence surrounding me._

_Well, if I'm asleep, I better wake up. You sound worried._

**I can feel you, all around me**

**Thickening the air I'm breathing...**

_I know I'm dreaming, but that doesn't stop the terror I'm feeling as I see the scene replay again and again. I hear my voice saying those nasty, mean words I don't mean, telling you to leave me alone, telling you to let me be happy with her. Even though I know I can never be happy without you, I still say it._

_I know whats going to happen next, but I can't stop it. I want to take the words back, to grab you before you run off, to wipe the tears from your eyes but I can't move. I'm frozen as your face shifts from shock to heartbreak, as the tears start streaking down your cheeks. I hear you mutter that final word, just a quiet 'fine', before you turn to escape, running away from me..._

_And towards the staircase._

I awaken with a jolt, tears streaming down my cheeks and sobs caught in my throat. I can't watch that again. I can't watch your body fly through the air and smack against the schools hard stone steps, I can't listen to your bones crunch as you tumble, or your short scream of pain and shock...

A nurse is there soon, grabbing me and injecting my arm with something. I grab her, shouting in my hysteria, demanding your condition and she tells me.

Your going to be fine. You have a broken leg and a concussion, but you are going to be fine. I'm so relieved I can't hold onto anything anymore. My emotions become undone as my sobs turn to giggles of relief. I can feel the guilt in my heart dissipate a little as it begins to heal.

Everything is going to be okay. Because your going to be okay.

I need to see you. Now.

**Holding on to what I'm feeling**

**Savoring this heart that's healing...**

_The area around me is getting lighter and lighter as I reach up, stretching for the light above me, striving for it, grasping at it._

_I need to see you. Now._

_I need to wake up. Your voice is back now, encouraging me, telling me everything is okay, that your sorry this happened, that she means nothing to you, that you were never even with her..._

_That you love me. _

_That's all I need to hear, even if its a lie. With one last push I _force my eyes open and take in the bright lights of the hospital room...

And your worried golden eyes gazing down into mine.

**My hands float up above me**

**And you whisper you love me...**

After much yelling and arguing, the nurse agrees to let me see you, but only after I tell her I know the hospital owners son and could get her fired. She forced me to ride in a wheelchair, which was okay with me. If only she would go faster!

After what feels like and eternity we reach your room. Ignoring the nurse I jump to your side, and grab your hand in mine. Despite what the nurse said earlier I can feel myself panicking again. You just look so frail, and your hand is so cold...

I forcibly push those thoughts to the back of my mind. Your going to be okay. I know that. Now you just need to wake up. Uncaring of who all's watching, I bend down to your side and pour my heart out to your prone form knowing that, somehow, you can hear me. I tell you how sorry I am, and how she means nothing to me, how me and her never did anything and... How much I fucking love you! You need to wake up right now! Please!

I'm so caught up in what I'm saying that it takes me a moment to realize that a set of bright, golden eyes are looking into mine. A set identical to mine. Seeing those eyes I feel everything else fade around me, because nothing else matters.

Your okay. And your awake.

Forgetting where we are, forgetting that we're brothers, I lean down and press my lips to your warm ones, putting all of my unhinged emotions into that one loving kiss.

At first you're still, shocked but then... you kiss back. I feel as though I'm transported to someplace for just us, someplace where we can be whatever we want, whoever we want, where we can be together as more then brothers and no one can judge us. A place where we don't need to be independent and girls don't matter.

I know now that we're fine. And that no matter what happens in the future I always want you in my life. No girl can ever compare to the love I have for you. Because to me, you will always be more then a brother...

You'll always be half of what I am, I can't lose you Kaoru. Because then I'd die too.

**And I began to fade **

**Into our secret place...**

As I pull my mouth from yours, I can't stop the blush dusting my cheeks nor the smile stuck on my lips. I know now. I know that that kiss was no lie. I know that you really, truely, do love me. It makes my heart soar in a way that I never thought possible.

This is what I always wanted, and this is what I had thought I'd lost when I ran from you.

Now I know that nothing can stop us from being together. Not society, not the club, not the girl...Haruhi.

Because you don't belong with her. You belong with me. You always belonged with me. It just took a fall to show us that, to show us that we we're always all around each other in a way only we could be.

Wouldn't you agree, Hikaru?

**I can feel you all around me**

**Thickening the air I'm breathing**

**Holding on to what I'm feeling**

**Savoring this heart that's healing. **

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So, what did you think? Love it, hate it, wanting more? Drop a review and tell me, it will be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, thanks for reading, thats all for now.

~Mellie


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